The Game I Never Knew I Was Playing

The sun spilled gold across everything it touched.
The world stood in silence, every trace of life was hushed,
like the earth was holding its breath for something unseen.
And every thought was captured in the in-between,
drifting weightless, without needing to become anything at all.
Each step forward slowly became a crawl,
as if time thickened around me, refusing to let me pass.
All that’s left to do is compare and contrast,
between who I was, and who I can’t quite become.
Who I am to you, I may be different to some,
a reflection shaped by every set of eyes that meets me.
A mask I’ve worn for ages, who you see defeats me,
like I’ve been disappearing just to keep the peace.
I’ve played a hand that’s failed completely,
and I’m left holding pieces I don’t recognize as mine.
But in the end I’ll say I’m fine,
because it’s easier than explaining where I went.
even when every word feels like a lie in my mouth,
and the truth sits heavy, begging just to be let out.
The seams have burst with the tension that’s been built over time,
and I don’t know how to hold it together anymore.
Every piece has been removed from the board,
and I’m the only one left pretending there’s still a game.
All my moves have been studied and critiqued,
until I forgot which ones were ever truly mine.
No sympathy—for when control was mine, it was lost,
and now I’m left to answer for the silence I created.
wondering if I ever knew the rules to begin with.